Hero

Today is a good day. As you may know, my students are writing a book. A biography actually, it will be published into a hard cover book and everything. I am very stressed out because although it is a wonderful opportunity for the students, the deadline is tomorrow and third graders don't understand deadlines. Anyway, there are about six "chapters" in their books. One chapter is "My Hero". I brought home the "hero" stories to edit tonight. I just read one (from one of the breaking and entering students none the less). It read, please note, this kids does not know the meaning of sucking up. He really tells it like he sees it- his mom being drunk when he gets home from school and everything. "My hero is Mrs. Fairfield. She is respectful, responsible and safe. She is respectful because she is nice and fair to us. Even when we are bad. She makes us be respectful by being nice to each other and she makes us responsible by making us do our homework at recess if we don't do it. She makes us be safe because she won't let us go outside without no coat on. The best thing about her is she comes to school every morning to teach us things, and help us learn. She wood get paid if we learned stuff or not, but she still makes us lern." I feel like I am going to cry. Why? Not because he spelled "would" or "learn" wrong, but because I won't be at school tomorrow morning. I have a meeting from 8:00- 9:40 at Longfellow. Maybe some of the kids do notice how hard I try. I need to not get so frustrated, or feel so hopeless. This child more than likely will get into serious trouble with the law in his lifetime, but for one year at least I was his hero- not some boxer, gangster, Hitler, or Lil' Wayne, but me. It's not really a big deal because, well they are 9-years-old, but it feels like a hard role to fill.
Thoughts that I think: I remembered today how Ethan would tell me last summer when it was raining, "It is raining because God is crying and God is crying because Grandpa said a naughty word." The next day it rained A LOT and Ethan said, "Wow! Grandpa must have said A LOT of naughty words!" I think instead of rain dances, they should just start swearing.

Ethan

Today was Ethan's 100th day of school. There are two Ethans in Ethan's class. Right when I walked into his classroom, I was greeted by their latest art project. Each child made a torn cave or igloo with a torn door and inside the torn door was a brown cotton ball which represented bears hibernating. I picked Ethan's out right away, looked at the name and saw "Ethan". Not knowing which Ethan the art belonged to I asked my Ethan, "is this one yours?" "Yep, mommy, it is!" How did I know which one was his you ask? Well, the "torn" cave was very carefully torn into a rectangle that had perfect symmetry. The hole for the door was not torn like the others, but cut. Later when we were hooking together the 10 groups of 10 unifix (connecting, plastic) cubes, and he got mad at me for mixing and matching the colors. "Mommy, the white stays on the white tower, the black on the black tower, the brown on the brown. Don't mix them." No wonder his teacher thinks he's a little OCD. I did not force him into being potty trained either, so he's not anal. He was like this before being potty trained, so there Freud! When he got in the car after is party, he announced, "I am so excited to start First grade tomorrow!" He thought, 'I went 100 days, now I'm done!' Now it makes sense that he thought his library books weren't due back until the last day of school. Poor Ethan. I had to burst his bubble and tell him he has 63 more days of Kindergarten. We went and bought a new backpack (to celebrate his new grade- Haa) because his has holes in it and I can't fix it with my sewing machine because it doesn't work. Stacy keeps saying she'll come over to "fix your damn sewing machine", but I'm beginning to wonder if that is code for "I'm coming over for a beer." Anyway, I had a great day with my baby. I think he enjoyed it too because he kept saying, "thanks for inviting me." Even though he meant it the other way around.

While I was off enjoying my child, my student teacher (who is now a REAL teacher) was enjoying my students because she subbed for me. They were good for her- of course, they love her!

Thoughts that I think: When the groundhog (or gopher as Noah and Ethan call him) sees his shadowon Feb. 2 (groundhog's day), it's six more weeks of winter, which isn't suppose to be a good deal. But I think for us living in the northern tundra, ONLY six weeks is a great deal. So that means only three more weeks of winter!! Yea!!!!

25 Things

When you are "tagged" on facebook, you are suppose to write 25 random things about yourself. I have been waiting to be "tagged", but apparently I am not all that interesting... So, here is what I would write.
1. I sleep with white noise. I have to sleep with my air purifier. I absolutely love it. I have gone through three in the last sixteen years.
2. I do not like any professional sports. Yep, hate 'em all. I have no interest in it what so ever. I would rather watch paint dry. Watching paint dry with a coors light would be even better.
3. I know it's not "politically correct", but I have NO interest in politics. NONE. I find it mind numbingly boring. I think if it effects me directly, I am more interested, but otherwise- not so much. GW affected me with No Child Left Behind, so that interested me. When people want to know my views I feel like an idiot because I know nothing about "candidates" or policies. However, I do lean very much to the conservative side.
4. I really believe parents should have to pass a test that they repeat yearly to keep their children. Bad parenting is my biggest "issue". If you are not going to take care of them , put them up for adoption, there are tons of loving couples who would love the child to pieces. Parents need to put their child's needs first. Read to them, talk to them, turn off the TV and teach them about good character, follow through with consequences, make them be respectful and responsible. You are not your child's friend, it's been a long time (hopefully) since you needed a child as a friend- they will find friends, but can never find another parent.
5. That said, it amazes me how much I love my children. I never thought I could love someone so completely. That is the true definition of unconditional love. The moment Noah was born, it popped into my head, "this is why I was put on Earth".
6. Some days, I secretly want another baby, but then I remember how my babies never sleep and how toddlers are so I go see Julie's baby Lilly. I can give her back and she doesn't affect my sleep.
7. I absolutely LOVE to sleep. It is the best of both worlds, you are unconscious yet still alive!
8. The person I have always been close to the longest is my best friend.
9. With first impressions, I am 90% correct, always have been as proven by when my BFF, Stacy, sent her ping-pong picture to my table in Kindergarten and we have been best friends since.
10. If it would be acceptable, I'd wear my flannel jammies all day long.
11. I love to read. I always have. I wonder if that's the reason my corneas gave out.
12. A perfect summer day would be 80 degrees at the lake with the boys and a six pack of beer.
13. A perfect winter day would be cuddled in my bed reading a good book.
14. I really like to shop for groceries on-line and have CashWise deliver it to me. It is only 5.00 and I think 5.00 is SOO worth my time spent shopping in the cold. Well the real reason is, I feel like a dork trying to push a cart full of groceries through the snow to my car. No it's not, it's the convenience. My husband gets ticked when I do it because it's "a waste of money"- I see it as money well spent. I never eat out for lunch, so that 5.00 could be my monthly lunch allowance.
15. I have never liked dogs, until I got Abby. I spent my entire life being afraid of dogs. When Scott's husky died four years ago, I thought 'thank God! I HATE dogs! Now we are done with that!' Three years ago, Scott had to talk me into getting Abby, we researched to find the best breed for our family, and I finally agreed. Since then I fell in LOVE with Abby, got Max to keep her company, and then got a broken liquor store dog and who knows what breed he really is. I never thought I'd have three dogs and I'd be the one who wants them.
16. I love the ages my kids are. If I could freeze time and keep them this age, I would. They are independent, yet still want to be with me, and still do funny things.
17.I love to watch Earl and the Office. I could watch them all day long.
18. If I had three wishes, they would be 1) my mom would be alive and healthy. 2) my kids would have a relationship with my dad. 3) It wouldn't be so hard to just be happy.
19. If I had three hopes, they would be 1) I hope my children outlive me. 2) my house doesn't smell like dog pee forever. 3) My dad and I have a relationship again someday.

21) I loved being pregnant. I loved the feeling of the baby moving and knowing this is the only time you can control where he is and if everyone is being nice to him.
22) I don't like coffee. I like the smell, but I don't understand why people would drink the stuff.
23) I LOTHE incompetence,- not not incontinence, but people who don't do their job. I also hate when people think they are better than someone. It drives me crazy- especially when they claim they hate people who think they are better everyone else- "Pot, this is kettle, YOUR BLACK!"
24) I can respect someone, but not like them. I can not like someone I don't respect- I've tried, but I can't.
25) My favorite non-brand pop is orange.

I can keep going!
26) I HATE when people say, "are you getting your period soon?"
27) I hate when people tell me what to do when I haven't asked for advice. Except my boss, he can tell me what to do because yes, he is "the boss of me".
28) I can't stand the whole, "donate money to the starving children in Africa". There are starving children in the US who are not being taken care of. When are we going to worry about our own people and our own country? How about donate birth control to women in Africa?
29) I think if a person who was brought over here by Lutheran Services is convicted of a crime, they should be sent directly back to their country. They came here for a new start, a better life. They committed a crime, which affects the people here, you lose your second chance at a better life. The end- not up for debate or appeals.
30) I am very pro-death penalty and yes I did see the Green Mile.
31) I have very mixed feelings about abortion. When I wanted to adopt a baby, I was very pro-life, I was all 'give me your baby!!' However, now that I have taught longer, I see the result of a pregnancy where the mom drank, did drugs and other bad things to her body. The mom doesn't care enough to take care of her body when it is responsible for another human, do you think she'll be responsible enough to take care of a special needs kid? NO- it will become society and the school's problem. Should that mom have had the baby?
32) I used to believe that nurture (how you are raised) determines the way a person is, rather than nature (where you come from). As I get older I think they are equal. There are a lot of people, including me, who by all means should be totally screwed up, but they aren't. There are a lot of people who should not be screwed up, but because of where they came from they are. You can put a golden ballgown on garbage, but all you get is fancy looking trash.
33) My taste in music and my handwriting changes about every-other year. Weird, huh?
34) One of my pet peeves is bad breath. Really, people can smell your breath, stop breathing through your mouth, or take the piece of gum I am offering to you.
35) I know I should exercise more. I would look better, and feel healthier. But I HATE to sweat, and be out of breath.
36) My New Year's Resolution was to stop biting my nails. My nails are shorter than ever. Turns out I am NOT a grow-up and it was not time to stop biting my nails.
37) Sometimes I ask my students what they want to be when they grow up, just to get some fresh ideas.
38) I have not said "I love you" to many people because I only say it when I really mean it. I had a boyfriend in High School who said he loved me on the third date, I laughed and said, "You do not! You don't even really know me!" Probably not the response he was expecting.
39) I would LOVE to live in Hawaii if the school system was better. Hawaii really is paradise on Earth.
40) I am scared of my boys growing up and not wanting to hang out with mommy.
41) I sort and eat my m&m's in this order, green (cuz you know about the green ones), yellow, orange, red, brown and blue
42) I am not OCD, as you may think after reading number 41.
43) I met the members of Arosmith. They opened a door for me. Steven Taylor said, "hey". I met Prince. He is super short and boring.
44) My most embarrassing moment is when I dropped a puppy at a packed pet store.
45) I love the smell of gasoline and fresh cut grass, but not together.
46) I like teaching third grade. Third grade is education's best kept secret.
47) I wish I could eat a brownie with ice cream and hot fudge every day.
48) If I had to live off of one food for the rest of my life, it would be cereal.
49) If it were possible, I would marry any man on Westeria lane (even the gay ones) and be a Desperate Housewife.
50) The first, and last thing I do (because it's right before brushing my teeth) each day is pick at or bite my nails.
51) It is almost my birthday, but I am WAY younger than that number you get when you subtract my birth year from 2009. Hey this year my birthday is 2-9 of 2009 and I will be 29! WEIRD.......
52) I love when people make me laugh, and to make people laugh. That is probably why I get along so well with Stacy, we have the EXACT same sense of humor. Stuff we say and do isn't funny to others, but wet-your-pants hilarious to us.

Scott went into work so I better go order my groceries on line quick! Heee heee.... Shhhhhhhh

Chick Flicks

The past two nights I watched "chick flicks" on T-VO. I bet I haven't watched a chick flick for at least six months. I watched 27 Dresses and PS I Love You. Neither movie is particularly sad- well, except for the girl who takes care of everyone else but won't let anyone take care of her because her mom died when she was young, and the girl who lost the love of her life and he keeps sending her letters. Anyway, I cried the entire time during both movies. Big tears just rolling constantly. You probably know me well enough to know it takes a lot to make me cry, so this is really odd. Do I need to be re-conditioned back into watching chick flicks? Do I need to work my way up? I could watch a half of one a week at a time until I build up to a full movie.
Thoughts that I think: I think I am suppose to be Irish. Why you ask? Well, I like beer. I think last names that start with an O followed by an apostrophe are really cool. I like the word brogue. I've seen Ireland on TV and I think it is beautiful. Also, I don't think snakes live in Ireland. I should learn an Iris accent and start using it!

Vacation is Over

Ethan eats snow. No wonder he never eats food. He is much too full from eating non-food items. At least it's not yellow snow. I looked outside to check on the kids and Noah was shoveling the deck and Ethan was standing there poking his tongue into the snow. It's snowing big fluffy flakes as big as a dinner plate. Well, Christmas break is officially over. I cleaned the house, did laundry and took down the Christmas stuff. School starts again on Monday. I think the threat of going back to work makes me use my time more wisely. I had 12 days off. I did not get around to putting away the laundry, the Christmas stuff or real cleaning until today. Actually the only thing I cleaned off was the cookie plate Stacy brought, and that was pretty well polished off by New Years. I am eager to get back to school. I hope the kids didn't forget what they learned during break. I'm not sure if it's because it was the holidays, or because Paul was home, or because I had to spend time with the wicked step-mother, or just because I had idle time on my hands (no school OR masters!), but I've been thinking a lot about my mom lately. I was 18 when she had a brain aneurysm. She was never the same after that. She was on so much medication she did not know who she was most of the time, and her anxiety level was past the ceiling. When I had Noah she kept asking me in the hospital who the baby was and why I was in the hospital. This is not how I want to remember her, but because I was a self-centered teen-ager the last time she was herself, I have a really hard time remembering her 'normal'. I remember she cried the day I moved to college and she never cried. I miss her. She died of lung cancer ten years after her brain aneurysm. We watched her suffer from the brain aneurysm, anxiety, and lung disease for ten years.

SOMEONE wants me off of the computer (at least when I did my masters I could waste time on the computer!) so I'm going to go do laundry. Ethan's dead snail has been resurrected! I thought for the last four days he was dead, but it turns out right now he is sucking on the side of the aquarium! Guess when a snail floats it's not dead. Way to live Sheldon!!

Welcome 2009

It is now a whole new year. A chance for me to become a better person. Do you think that will happen? Probably not. I don't do well with change. However, I have decided I have some resolutions- we'll see how long I'll keep them.
1. I will stop biting my nails. I am a grown-up and I do not need to bite my nails anymore. I have stopped before, but then one rips and I fall off the wagon.
2. I will lose 12 pounds. I say 12 because 15 seems unattainable without changing my exercise and eating habits dramatically, but I want to lose more than 10.
3. I will be less sarcastic.
We all know THAT one ain't gonna happen!- I just said it to be sarcastic!! hee heee. It is 9:16 and I haven't eaten anything yet today, including my nails!
Yesterday Ethan was "teaching" his webkinz how to draw. He had them lined up on the bed and he was at his easel. I actually took a picture, but can I find the cord to connect to the camera to download it onto the computer? NO. Maybe number 3 should be "be more organized"- ha we all know that ain't gonna happen either. Anyway, his arrangement of his "students" reminded me of my students. Only about four were facing him, one fell off the bed (or out of his chair), three were laying down, two were facing the wrong way and several were facing each other (probably talking). However, like his mother, Ethan just keep teaching. Maybe he does take after me.

Happy New Year!

I want to wish everyone Happy New Year. I hope 2009 brings you health and happiness. And a little white dog perhaps? It's official, Sammy won't let me sleep in or nap. The evil little mutt senses when I am thinking, 'lay still. Sam will go away and let me sleep.' I can try to nap when he is napping, and he will wake up in order to wake me up. He is as big as Abby now and has started humping Max and Abby. I wonder if he is older than his owners thought? He gets his second round of shots on Monday, maybe they'll slip him some Valium so I can sleep. Paul has to go back to Arizona today. It makes me sad. I'll miss him. Ethan's fish tank water is cloudy. I looked up the reason why and the Internet says it's because I added fish to soon and to many. Damn the fish Nazis and their wisdom.
Thoughts that I think: I wonder if the vet will put GPS tracking in my kids. He put it in Abby and Max, and I am even more attached to the boys. I think putting GPS tracking in the boys would be the best idea EVER. I can keep track of them now, and when they are teenagers and try to sneak into a party and lie to me about it.