Happy Birthday Ethan!

My baby is eight years old. I still catch myself thinking of him as a young child who likes to be called "honey-bunny", and lists mommy, ice cream, cookies, candy and Baby Einstein as his favorites. Now he looks at me like I'm a nut when I call him Honey-bunny or ask if he wants to cuddle with mommy to watch baby Einstein. He started Second grade this week. I don't want him to be in second grade. I want him to be in Kindergarten. Why can't he just stay little? My happiest days are when he and his brother were babies. There are so many of Ethan's actions and personality traits that mirror my own- for good and bad. He is enthused about writing, reading, and drawing. He likes to be home best of all. He gets stuck in a "food rut"- although I've never had a "hot dog" rut, nor has mine ever lasted 6 years, but the popcorn rut did last five. We have the same sense of humor. We both think the same things are hilariously funny. Noah will give his obligatory chuckle, but Ethan and I will still laugh about it days later. We both really internalize our troubles and only wear our feelings on our sleeve with a very few select people (for me, that list is getting smaller and smaller all of the time). We aren't quick to trust, and maybe too quick to dismiss people, but when we love someone we love them with our whole heart. My pregnancy, delivery and toddler-hood was very different with Ethan than with Noah. I looked sick and exhausted while pregnant with Ethan. My white blood-cells were in the billions when I was pregnant with him, yet I wasn't sick. The labor and delivery were not as peaceful. Seven words- Dropped Me Off at the Hospital and Pitosin. However, when I held that screaming newborn I knew I'd love him forever, even if he landed in jail- which based on both years of his "terrible two's" was a real possibility. Ethan straightened out and he's now a thoughtful, kind, sweet little boy. He's a little more independent than I'd like (he won't even fall for the TRICK of holding my hand anymore), and maybe more of a loner than I can understand, but he's my baby.

Because I am behind on posts, here is what I've been up to:

For the past three weeks I've had a headache. I doesn't go away when I go home from school, go to sleep, or wake up. It is always there. I also have been SO tired. This past week, I went to bed at 8:30 every night. I even had a after work happy hour drink and was home by 7:00 so I could go to bed. The headaches were really concerning me. During the week I blamed it on the fact that I am the only Elementary teacher in Fargo with 25 students!! (By the way there is a North Fargo school that has 2 classes of third grade. One has 11 kids, the other has 12- together they STILL HAVE LESS THAN ME!!!!!) I blamed it on my needy students. I took count and 11 out of 25 have serious issues. Coincidently those 11 are the ones who are always in my face demanding something. The ones without issues are quiet , nice and good students. I even blamed my headaches on the air quality of the brand new building- I am used to the old asbestos filled building, my body is going through asbestos withdrawal. I even contemplated getting a EKG because a teacher from Horace Mann had an aneurysm on Labor Day. She is my age and has two very small children. She was healthy one minute and in an induced coma the next. The aneurysm was close to her brain stem, so she is on machines to keep her alive. They are thinking of slowly weaning her off in the next seven weeks. Who knows what will happen from there. Of course I freaked out because she's so young and healthy, and my mom had a brain aneurysm and they run in families. Well, yesterday I woke up with a horrible sore throat. Today I had a sneaking suspicion that it could be strep being I get it at least four times a year. I went to the "Fast Track" clinic, at the Stanford- Not Meritcare any more clinic. I found myself sucking up to and brown-nosing the doctor. I really felt like death, but I was certain the change of Stanford or Obama's death panels would give the doctor the choice to treat me or not. I thought if I got her to like me, she'd give me medicine. I know it's ridiculous, but the change of Meritcare to Stanford and Obama's plan to change health care scares the crap out of me. Sometimes at night, I wake up and wonder how to go about getting a passport so I can go to Canada to buy some over-the-counter antibiotics in case the doctor just says "no- drink water". The doctor did not in fact say "No medication for you." But, "You have had a headache for how long? And you didn't get seen? You woke up with a fever for two days? You had to rest between taking a shower and combing your hair? You need to drink lots of water, take three of these horse pills a day, and you can not go to work tomorrow." I asked, "What if I'm better tomorrow?" She said, "If you are better, and you go to work you will infect your students, who will in turn re-infect you, or you will push yourself too hard and end up being sicker for much longer- which is why, I suspect you get strep throat four times a year. No work. Stay in bed." OK thank you Meritcare Ooops I mean Stanford doctor...

My thought for the day is more of an observation: MapQuest really should start out on turn #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.