Snow Much Fun

It's Christmas break and the only thing that could make it better would be warmer weather. We had a three day(ish) storm for Christmas, so we had a quiet one. On Christmas Eve we did the same old stuff. We went to church (but our NEW one this time- Which was WAY better), went to the in-laws, watched the other grandchildren open their mountains of gifts, while my kids unwrap a quarter (no kidding). There was lots of wine involved, so that made the "OMG! My niece slurs all of her words like a drunken sailor!!" Scream a little less loudly in my head. Seriously. She slurs her words. Both my niece and nephew whom are being raised by my mother-in-law are very low functioning and my mother-in-law, knowing full well I AM a teacher, told me she was going to write their special ed. teacher a letter asking "how she dare send home homework during Christmas break." All I thought was 'you should include in that letter that you would like the school to raise them, or that second and fourth grade MODIFIED homework is way above your intelligence level' because that is what will be read between the lines. Seriously. They are either all becoming more and more like hillbillies or I am becoming less and less blind. Christmas day was quiet. We were home. I made a ham- and wait for it... gravy!! Yes I did and it was good. The day after we went to my dad's and his wife's family was there for Christmas. Lots of liquor was involved there- which made it a really pleasant experience. I am petty sure my step- brother-in-law and I are running for office in 2012.
Now that the Christmas fun and excitement is over, life is back to normal. My children are getting along one minute, then fighting the next. I honestly don't know what to do. Before I had children, I would have them go to their rooms and write three things they love about their siblings. I wasn't factoring in the fact that one can't spell and his older brother (who spells just as well as the little one) would make fun of his spelling inantiquities, and the little one is so stubborn that he couldn't possibly think of anything he likes about his brother. Before I had children I would also have the kids sit in a room together but not be able to talk until they said they were sorry and loved each other. I really underestimated the freedom of speech on that one. Now that I am a parent, I have no idea what to do. Let them fight it out and they will annoy me and possibly get hurt. Telling them to "stop it" immediately puts a flash in my head of a drunken mom with her hair disheveled, and a cigarette hangin' out of her mouth saying "Knock it off you two..." as she's stumbling around wearing one high heel shoe. By not letting them fight it out, am I cheating them on learning how to fight fair with their future spouses? By making them fight it out, and I tarnishing their childhood memories so all they'll remember is fighting?
Maybe I should spit out my cigarette and comb my hair and help Ethan spell "You let me borrow your gameboy at your basketball games where I am board out of my mind, and wouldn't have to go to at all if you wouldn't ruin my weekends by being in basketball..."
Speaking of gameboy... For those who don't know, 'gameboy' is a portable game system, not to be confused with a 'playstation' which is a game system that hooks up to the TV. Yesterday I was cleaning off the kitchen counter and told Ethan, "Go put away your playboy right now."
Later when Stacy came over to visit I told Ethan to go downstairs so we could talk in peace. Ethan said, "Oh, you're going to say inappropriate words, like swear words..."
Go put away your playboy a--h--e!