Saturday, April 25, 2009

Poor Sam(antha)

Sammy got neutered on Wednesday. Poor puppy. When I first got Abby, and was looking into getting her "fixed", I read all kinds of articles that said, "it'll change their personality". I absolutely loved her the way she was, I didn't want her to change. I was a little bit anxious about doing it, so I put it off until after she went into heat once. In hindsight I wish I didn't get her fixed, I wish I would have let her and Maxine have puppies- imagine how perfect those puppies would be! Except then I'd probably have six dogs right now instead of three. When both Max and Abby got fixed, they laid around for three days afterwards, hiding, not eating and super quiet. I assume it was because of the drugs. I was looking forward to a little quiet time from Sam. I could use three days of Sam laying around. Apparently liquor store dogs bounce back quickly after being drugged, probably because their mom was drunk a lot while she was pregnant. While leaving the vet he jumped right up in the car and has been running ever since. It didn't slow him down in the least. In fact, I think it made him faster. He probably thinks, "thank goodness I don't have those heavy things weighing me down anymore- now I can go FAST!" Yesterday morning Max was standing in the middle of the yard and Sam ran full speed at him and hurdled Max. Then he turned around and did it again. He kept running at and hurdling little Maxine. I think he is training to be one of those dogs that are in contests where they time how fast they can go through the obstacle course. I am so glad Sammy has plans for the future.
Noah asked why Sam had surgery on his "butt". I figured he is old enough now, so I told him it wasn't his butt, they took his balls out. I have never seen Noah look so horrified! He asked "but why would they do that?" I told him so he won't find a wife and have puppies, he replied, "I thought you just prayed really hard and God gives you a baby." Like the good mom I am, I said, "It's different with dogs- they can't pray." Poor Noah, he is going to be so screwed up- and hopfully not a parent in the seventh grade. But hey- I thought until the summer of eighth grade if you have three kids, you had sex exactly three times, and look at me- I'm normal.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Miss America

Have you followed the Miss America controversy this week? I just heard about it yesterday. Apparently some homosexual male posted the question about how Miss America feels about same-sex marriage. Miss California said something to the jist of, 'It's not for her, she doesn't personally agree with it, but ultimately it is up to each state to make the decision.' Then, she came in as first runner up. Some people think she would have won had it not been for the question. OK- I ask you this... Why in the twenty-first century do women put up with, or more importantly WANT to be Miss America? Am I the only one who thinks the whole "Miss America" thing is degrating to women? We all know the women aren't judged on their "smarts" or answers to the obligatory questions, or the "talent" portion. It's more like 80% on the swimsuit competition, 2 percent question, 2% talent and 16% on evening gown. They are judged on their looks, body and size of their breasts. The tallest, thinnest and biggest breasted, (often blondest )woman wins. Why do women TODAY think it's OK to be judged on looks? Even Martin Luther King wanted his children to be judged on their character over 40 years ago. Who would have guessed Martin Luther King would be more civilized than the Miss America people 40 years later? Maybe I am just jealous. I am not tall enough, thin enough, big boobed enough, young enough or have perfect enough teeth to be Miss America. However, I would rather be smart, witty and taken seriously than be a dumb, gorgeous airhead that people view as an idiot.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


Last Sunday we sat by a family with four kids. Four kids is a lot of kids. I don't know how the mom did it. There was an eight-year-old girl, six year old boy, four-year-old girl and a one-year-old boy. Each kid was more adorable than the other. They were dressed so cute. The girls had long combed hair. The kids were so well behaved and polite. I looked at them and thought, 'I want four kids. She can hold it together. Why couldn't I?' When in reality, I never comb my boys' hair and it's onlt after we leave the house when I notice they have major bed-head. Then I just think, "oh well, I can always pretend I'm not with THEM," What if I had girls? Their hair would always be a rats nest. I found myself mesmerized by this family. The sweet little four-year-old shoving Cheerios into her baby brother's mouth. The little eight-year-old leaning on her daddy. The (combed hair) six-year-old silently playing "hide the penny" with his little sister. If my kids played "hide the penny" in church, Ethan would likely end up yelling at the top of his lungs, "NOAH!! You cheat!!" and Noah yelling back, "I DID NOT! I'M NEVER PLAYING WITH YOU AGAIN!!" By the end of the service, the one-year-old climbed in between Ethan and I. The thought crossed my mind that I should just take him. Because if you want something, you should take it, especially when you are in church and in front of your children trying to teach them morals. After all, she had four kids. I only have two, if I took the baby, we'd be even. Hey- fair is fair... I kept thinking about how perfect they appeared, and how the mom made it all look so easy. Then I thought of my Christmas card photo. Well, not exactly my Christmas card photo, but the photo I would have used if I had my act together enough to send out Christmas cards. The three dogs are sleeping peacefully under the tree and two adorable boys (WITH combed hair) laying by them... That certainly was an unusual glimpse in time. The boys never have combed hair. The dogs never sleep peacefully anymore, they are much too busy chasing each other around, barking, jumping on the furniture, and pooping on the carpet. I bet at that lady's house, no one poops on the carpet. Who knows? Maybe Easter Sunday was that lady's unusual glimpse in time. Only hers lasts over and hour and mine only lasts 30 seconds.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Happy Easter Plus Two Days

I had Easter at my house this year. That means, we had the vents cleaned out and the carpets shampooed Friday, cleaned and cooked Saturday, went to church Sunday and continued to cook and entertain Sunday. I need a weekend from my weekend. We also had Noah's birthday party on Easter, which made him declare that, "having your real birthday on Easter would really stink, because you'd have to go to church on your birthday." I told Noah he was actually due on Easter of the year he was born, and his real birthday this year was on Good Friday- the actual day Jesus died. He asked why Easter is at a different time every year. I don't know. Sometimes it's in March, sometimes it's in the beginning of April, sometimes it's at the end. What's with that?
A second thing that is on my mind is opportunities and God. The music teacher from our school is moving to Texas at the end of the year. Her husband got a job that is similar to his job here, but her family is from Texas. She said, "We couldn't decide if we should go or not, but I realized you can't mess with what God wants you to do." How do you know, in that situation what God wants you to do? I realize maybe God gave them the opportunity, but does that mean God gave the teenagers who shot their classmates the opportunity to go to school with guns? I know God wouldn't want them to do that, even though the opportunity was there. How do I know God doesn't want me to buy a new car, or some shoes? The opportunity is there. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, even the bad stuff. I had a miscarriage and a year and a half of infertility before I had Noah, at the time there was no way I could see a reason for it, but now I realize it made me a better mom. I cherish my kids more than I think I would have without the struggle. When I got notice that the school I taught at and loved was closing, and I was not only having to switch schools, but I was going to a school not with another teacher from our school, but to be the ONLY kindergarten teacher. I was to teach at a school that wasn't even in my top 20 choices of where I wanted to be. I had to teach alone in a dark dirty musty basement where I didn't even see other adults unless I went to the office. At the time, I did not, in a million years think that was happening for a reason. However, that job lead to me teaching third grade, which lead to me teaching third grade at Roosevelt where I absolutely love the staff, my teaching partner, my principal and of course third graders. Had I got the school I wanted, I'd still be "stuck" in Kindergarten. I completely believe God answers prayers, it's just sometimes the answer you don't want. But, how can you tell when faced with two options, both very life altering and defining,(should I move or should I stay) which choice The Big Guy wants you to make?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


For the past few days, I have been feeling the same feeling I get the second week in June- also known as second week of summer vacation. Not the relaxed, "this will be the best summer" feeling, but the "My mind is turning to mush, as is my waist, I have nothing interesting to say anymore and I am losing my personality." You may be thinking, "What makes this different than any other day? Your mind IS as mushy as your middle, you never have anything interesting to say and well, your personality sucks." If you are thinking that, all I have to say is "Scott, stop reading my damn blog!!"
But seriously, (I loathe it when my students start a sentence with but. Hee heee) I have nothing somewhat interesting to say. I try to talk on the phone, and it is an awkward experience- if you know me, that is torture. I talked to my brother last night. I haven't talked to him for three weeks, all I had to say was, "Yeah, it was a hell of a flood. The boys went to school two out of twenty-three days (counting weekends). You in Nebraska? Good luck on your first day of work." That's it! I didn't tell him how my love for green beer, potatoes, and the word brogue makes me wonder if we are Irish. Why? I don't know. I feel as if I lost my ability to converse. I talk to my friends on the phone and it's "yeah, OK. I want to leave the house, but do I really have to? Cuz my jammies, nap and TV are here." What is wrong with me?? I hate this! Here is my attempt at semi-interesting conversation, well one sided anyway, because if the computer starts talking back to me, it'd be freaky.
Since I have had 19 out of the last 23 days off, including weekends, and many of those were stuck at home with no where I could go if I wanted to leave, I have become an "Internet shopper". I have a good friend who does most of her shopping on-line. She did all of her Christmas shopping last black Friday in her jammies. I never really understood the draw, other than on-line grocery shopping, which I LOVE! I like to go to the stores, and look for what I want and touch it. True, I get a little ADD with all of the shiny displays and forget what I am shopping for, but it is a great experience. Anyway, my not being able to go to an open store to shop has lead to Internet shopping. I have bought in the last three weeks;
-4 sticker sets for scrap booking
-1 one pair of pants I tried on at GAP, but needed a long, which they didn't have in stock.
-1 Webkinz for Noah's birthday
-1 One "fabulous" pink coach purse for a "steel "of $60.00. It is the size of a pack of gum. They should have really written "actual size" or the measurements. The only thing stolen was my excitement in thinking I got a good deal!
-4 novels
-3 of those novels are to be read to my class, assuming that we will have school for enough consecutive days for them to follow a story's plot.
- More of the "magic kool-aid" that I drink at night "to make the fat melt away."- It sucks that you have to take it for two months to show results. This, like the purse, may too be a rip off.
-12 PAIRS of disposable "doggie booties" to keep my puppies feet clean, dry and mud free if spring comes this year. Why would they sell DOG booties in pairs??
My credit card says I need to go back to school soon.
Thoughts that I think: The other day while eating lunch, Noah, Ethan and I were taking turns saying our favorite thing about each dog. When we got to Sam Ethan says, "he is the best at licking balls." I didn't ask him to elaborate. I am hoping (with skepticism) he is talking about the tennis balls in our house, but if I had to guess...