Sunday, October 17, 2010

Martha (NOT Sara) Stewart

One of my friends is a home-ecky Becky and she gets the Martha Steward magazine. Apparently when she re-newed her subscription, she could send a "free 3-month-trial" to a friend. I am that friend. I flipped through it today. There is a calendar of "to dos" that I found kind-of funny, and mirrored my own to-do list. I can't remember all of Martha's but here is the gist.
October 1- Make nice warm homemade potato soup with fresh venison (my version- Eat some warm potato soup from Bennigans)
October 2- Consider harvesting the remainder of your tomatoes. (Mine- decide tomatoes are too "tomato-y" and take them off my food list)
October 3- Pick fresh pears for canning. (Mine- laugh at people who pick their own pears to can 'cuz you can get a can of canned pears at CashWise for .89 cents)
October 4- Go apple picking, set some aside for apple sauce, apple pies, and apple crisp. Set the large ones aside for caramel apples and bobbing for apples later in the month (mine- get hungry for apples and go by some at the store)
October 5- Finish pickling your cucumbers from your garden. (Mine- Pickles come from cucumbers?)
October 6- Take your dogs to the groomer to get a fall "spruce-up" (mine- brush Abby since she's the only one who won't run away when I brush them).
October 7- Take out your Halloween decorations and add new gourds and baby pumpkins to your decor. (mine- Hee hee- Silly Martha- pumpkins don't have babies).
October 8- Choose a pattern to make a festive Halloween costume. (Mine- My kids are going to dress like Hobos- all they need is their dad's mow-the-lawn clothes.)
October 9- Winterize your garden with your hoe. (Mine- The only hoe I know would never winterize her garden)
October 10- Create a fall wreath using eucalyptus, fall flowers and crab apples. (Mine- I used all of the crab apples to throw at the neighbor kids)
October 11- Arrange for a fun family portrait take in the fall foliage. (Mine- remember that I was running late on the kids' first day of school and neglected to take their "first day" pictures. - Re-in-act their first day of school and take a picture.
October 12- Visit a pumpkin patch- remember the video recorder. (Mine- Have your aunt deliver you pumpkins from her garden.)
October 13- Enjoy some delicious Apple cider. (Mine- Enjoy some delicious SPIKED Apple cider).
October14- Get a haircut for a fresh fall look. (Mine- cut your bangs you are growing out as you tell yourself "I should never cut my own bangs")
October 15- Get your flu shot. (Mine- Take a shot at the local bar)
October 16- Make some wonderful pumpkins squares. (Mine- you can make pumpkins become a square?)
October 17- Make a delicious yam stew. (Mine- throw all the left overs in the fridge in the crock pot, turn it on and call it supper).
October 18- Sew a fun Holiday vest or smock. (Mine- really? What's a smock and who'd wear one?)
October 19- Enjoy time by the fire snuggled up with a loved one. (Mine- OK- that one isn't so bad)
October 20- Go on a hay ride. (Mine- Are you kidding? It's a school night! And- the sun goes down at 6:00 in the frozen tundra of the north).
October 21- Finalize the guest list for your Halloween party. (Mine- Halloween is on a Sunday right?)
October 22- Watch Charlie Brown's Great Pumpkin (Mine- Sally's voice makes me want to stick pins in my ears and Charlie Brown is annoying and pathetic).
October 23- Make home made duck pot pie. (Mine- mmmm. pot pie)
October 24- Start getting the treats ready for trick or treaters (Mine- really? If you wait that long all of the good candy will be gone).
October 25- Make a festive garland with mini marshmallows and cranberries. (Mine- Why?)
October 26- Sew festive Halloween place mats for the ghouls and goblins. (Mine- I don't invite ghouls and goblins to my table)
October 27- Make 2 dozen caramel apples. (Mine- Get a caramel shake from the DQ)
October 28- Make popcorn balls with a dash of honey and crasins (Mine-eat popcorn, and what's with the cranberries?)
October 29- Volunteer at a child's school Halloween party (Mine- I do, but it's not voluntarily)
October 30- Put the finishing touches on your Halloween party. (Mine- collect crab apples that have fallen off the neighbors tree)
October 31- Hand out treats to all of the neighborhood children. (Mine- Get ready to throw crab apples at them when I run out of candy and they try to "trick")


jill said...

i think my list would be oddly similar! thanks for the laugh :)

Emily said...

This just made my night! You are too funny!!!