A Hovercraft

I was listening to the TV in the background and I heard the following; "Are you having trouble getting around?" Why yes I am. My shoes hurt my little toes so much I kind-of hobble. "Do you feel like a burden to others when waking them to help you to the bathroom in the middle of the night?" Well, I feel a little guilty for waking others to ask if they'll GO to the bathroom FOR me in the middle of the night- so YES! "Do you have hip, knee, ankle or feet problems?" Hell yes! My shoes hurt my feet a lot! Also, I am sure I have falling arches. By this time I was getting a little excited. "Have you fallen in the past month?" Yes! In the entry of our church. It was the second time I was there in less than nine hours. I think instead of striking me with lightening, God made me fall down because of my damn slippery shoes. "Are you 65 or older?" No, but some days I feel like it. "If you answered Yes to three or more of these questions, you may qualify for a free hovercraft. YES!! I'm gettin' me a hovercraft!! I will drive it everywhere in the summer to save on fuel costs. I can't really use it in my house because it's split level, but it will come in so handy when trying to get somewhere fast! You don't just drive like normal people, you HOVER- I think that means above the ground, and that means- Traffic!! I can't wait!!!