I got the following e-mail today...
And the following are my thoughts.
October 2011 is...
Adopt-a-Shelter-Dog Month - I already have 3. The city will shut me down if I bring in more.
Celebrating the Bilingual Child Month I do every day Monday- Friday in my classroom
Celiac Disease Awareness Month I am aware that I am glad I don't have that!
Dyslexia Awareness Month M3 gl4b I bon't hav3 th4t 3ither.
Eat Better, Eat Together Month Which is it? Eat better, or eat together? When I eat with other people I eat real food with calories.
Emotional Wellness Month Shouldn't every month be emotional wellness?
Global Diversity Awareness Month I believe every month already is Global Diversity month
Halloween Safety Month This would be better suited in the month of June...
Health Literacy Month What? Is it health or reading? How are they related?
National Animal Safety and Protection Month Also, "take your dog hunting with your big ol' firearm" month
National Book Month Where is this national book? I'd like to read it.
National Crime Prevention Month Well Duh- it's Halloween. Nothing good has ever come from Halloween!!
National Cyber Security Awareness Month Wouldn't that be covered under the Crime Prevention?
National Go On A Field Trip Month We went on two last week!!
National Reading Group MonthI do those daily. When will it be "kids read more than Mrs. Fairfield reads FOR me month"?
National Stamp Collecting Month Why are we collecting stamps? Is there going to be a shortage?
Raptor Month I hate raptors. And snakes. And clowns and mascots.
Vegetarian Month I can still eat cheese right?
International Day of Older Persons My students think I am an "older person"
Great Books Week Every week SHOULD be great books week
Mental Illness Awareness Week For me every week IS Mental Illness Awareness week
Mystery Series Week What's the Mystery?
National Carry a Tune Week I try to sing to my students to get them to stop talking. They just talk over me.
No Salt Week That's just crazy talk!
Child Health Day Must be because kids are always sick in October.
Ten Four Day I bet that day is on 10/4. Hee hee. Tomorrow I am going to answer everyone with 10-4. "What's for lunch?" "10-4"
UN World Teacher's Day What's an un-world? I think I know a few un-teachers.
World Smile Day I specifically remember smiling three days ago day.
Kids' Goal Setting Week Goal- learn more and work harder at my learning than my teacher works at my learning.
National Chestnut Week Really?? They get a week?
National Metric Week I loathe the Metric system. Actually I loath teaching it and believe it is a waste of time to teach third graders. Especially when they go to lunch at "10:75"
National School Lunch Week At 10:75
Columbus Day Observed If a guy who got totally lost, never admited it and died believing he was right got a special day named after him- then I should have at least 5 days named after me.
National Face Your Fears Day I do daily- it's called "getting up in the morning"
National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day But can I bring 2? Can I bring one bigger than my desk? Can I bring one that hides my flask? The first two questions would come from my class, the last one would be from me.
Food and Drug Interaction and Awareness Week THANK GOD food doesn't effect my drugs...
Freedom From Bullies Week Ha ha! Like the bullies would take a week off.
Getting the World to Beat a Path to Your Door Week I want people to stay away from my door. Especially those naughty little boys who just moved into the neighborhood.
Kids Care Week Kids care for one week. The other 51, they don't give a rip.
National Character Counts Week Ditto from above
National School Bus Safety Week I don't think the drivers got that memo, as I watched a school bus driver in Moorhead throw his cigarette out the window this morning on my way to work.
Evaluate Your Life Day I will do that on Saturday. Or Monday.
Cranky Coworkers Day My co-workers probably think this is every day with me.