Friday, November 1, 2013


I am home with Sam because he ate an entire chicken leg and bone in two bites. He was acting funny so I thought I'd better take him to the vet.  I should be using my time wisely, but I have to blame the school librarian for getting me off track. That's funny since I just filled out the portion on my students' report cards that states "I take responsibility for my actions", and now I'm not, "it's Mrs. Kemple's fault. I swear, she made me..."  Anyway, back to the librarian. She sent us an e-mail telling us way more about "November is national month for" than anyone can ever hope to know. I am going to re-make the list:
November 2013 is...
Adopt-a-Senior Pet Month-  Why? Why would I want an old pet? If I wanted a pet that died within a few days, I'd get a goldfish.
American Diabetes Month- Perfect. Except the national holiday in November is one where we all eat ourselves silly.  American Diabetes Month should be in August.
Aviation History Month- Makes perfect sense. Thanksgiving is the most traveled holiday. 
Banana Pudding Lovers Month- It goes great with Pumpkin and Apple Pie.
Child Safety Protection Month- Every month should be child safety. I guess all the other months parents can be willy nilly about protecting their child's saftey. 
Diabetic Eye Disease Month- Again... Thanksgiving
Gluten Free Diet Awareness Month- Again... Thanksgiving and the delicious crescent rolls. 
Kids Goal Setting Month- I guess this is better than May.  "My goal is to not pick up a pencil or a book all summer".
National Adoption Month- I want to adopt a Chinese baby. I love those Asians. 
National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month- This would be better in December. That way the person with Alzheimer's can get away without buying Christmas gifts. 
National American Indian Heritage Month- Makes sense. Without them, the pilgrims would have died. 
National Inspirational Role Models Month- At least this isn't in October when we have Columbus day. Columbus was a terrible man. He didn't discover America, and he was actually lost. For as much as I get lost, I should have at least 3 days with my name on them. 
National Marrow Awareness Month- Never been aware of my marrow.  Now I will be. All month. 
National Novel Writing Month- I have a novel in my head. Oh no, it's not a novel. It's the voices. 
National Scholarship Month- Because a lot of kids start college in November. 
Peanut Butter Lovers' Month- It's great for the gluten allergies and diabetics. 
PPSI AIDS Awareness Month- I don't even know what that is.
PTA Lifestyles Month- The PTA is a Pain To my Ass.  All they do is dream up more work for me that I don't want to do.
Vegan Month- Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like a starving vegan. 
Flower: Chrysanthemum
Birthstone: Topaz
Moon Phases: New (11/3); First Quarter (11/20); Full (11/17); Last Quarter
All Hallows Day (All Saints Day) (11/1)

Give Wildlife a Break Week (11/3-11/9)- Also known as "Hunting Season"

National Animal Shelter Appreciation Week (11/3-11/9)- Go get your old dog. 

Use Your Common Sense Day (11/4)- Shouldn't you do this all of the time. It's like National breathing day.
General Election Day (11/5)- OH now I see why you should use your common sense the DAY BEFORE elections. Then it's all used up in time to vote.
National Parents as Teachers Day (11/8)- OMG! I HAVE MY OWN DAY! Does that mean parents are teachers. Or does it mean parents should come in and teach? Either way I'm game! My new favorite day is Nov. 8.  Unless it is "the teachers are parenting their students" In that case, that is every day.
National Farm-City Week (11/10-11/16)- What? Farm? City? I'd say that's national opposites day. 
American Education Week (11/17-11/23)- We celebrate by putting in three 12 hour days for conferences that week. 
 Better Conversation Week (11/24-11/30)- Just in time for Thanksgiving.
Church/State Separation Week (11/24-11/30)- Is this to remind difficult parents and students that there is not Christmas in school?
Thanksgiving Day (11/28)
Electronic Greeting Day (11/29)- For those of you who forgot to call the folks on Thanksgiving.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very Funny. Are you getting your period?