One month from today I will be a college graduate- again. I am not going to St.Paul for the ceremony, but I am thinking of throwing myself a party...We’d start out with a bang, and by that I mean I’d fire off a starter’s pistol so people knew the party actually started. The very first event of the party would be Bobbing for Fairfield Shots. I’d fill a large kiddie pool with Fairfield Juice -- a mixture of kool-aid, Pop Rocks, and vodka -- and throw some shot glasses in there. Then everyone has to lean in, grab a shot glass with their mouths, and take the shot. It’s messy but it sure gets things started right. If you’re not drunk after Bobbing for Fairfield Shots, you’re not playing right.
So after everyone’s good and sauced, I’d break out the piñatas. The key to piñatas at parties is naming them. If you name them after students, you know people are going to really get into it. I would name a few and then let somebody else do the naming, but trust me, they would all be named. As for filling them, that all depends on the budget. If there’s no money for the piñatas, then I’d fill them with dry rice. If there’s a little cash around, then I’d go for hard candy. With hard candy, you get the fun of seeing the piñata burst AND the injuries that go with it. Ha ha.
When the party winds down, I’d do another round of Bobbing for Fairfield Shots and then send people on their way with Goody Bags. The bags would just be filled with copies of my thesis and extra pencils I bought my students, but hey, everyone likes a parting gift, right?
They should really make me head of the social committee at work. I’d be amazing.