Monday, September 3, 2012


As I was sitting at Harriett's funeral I noticed something. Light olive green is the new black. To avoid crying I count stuff sometimes, and out of the 67 people at the funeral, 15 of them wore a light shade of olive green, and 11 of the 15 were my relatives. My child was one of them, little did I know I was setting him up to be in fashion. I guess I like green. I like black better because it's slimming, but if I wear it too many days in a row Noah asks me if I am turning "goth", and the gym teacher asks why I am in mourning. Last year I told him I was in "silent protest of the school year". The funeral was nice. They didn't talk about September 11, like at my mom's funeral, or how seven maidens were late for a lunch-on with Jesus therefore were kicked out, like at my grandma's. Both topics were really stupid. Do the priests close their eyes, pick a page in the newspaper or Bible and try to make that one work? My mom was so out of it at the end, she didn't even know 9/11 happened. And my grandma's family is NOTORIOUS for being late every where, so that really one didn't make sense, unless the priest was telling us all "you fools are always late and will be banned from Heaven." Which is not comforting at all. I know what you are all thinking, 'at least being late runs in her family...' See, I really can't help it. It'd be like trying to change my eye color- which actually comes from the other side of the family. Anyway, after the funeral we all drove out to the cemetery in Downer. The cemetery is basically a "family cemetery" where a few neighbor's family members are buried as well. It's at least 2/5 Heng. While we are standing by the casket I look to my left and see my mom's foot stone. She is to the right of Harriett's husband, Johnny. Harriett's hole was not left of her husband. It was on the wrong side of the foot stone. The whole time I am thinking I've got to be wrong, but nope. They dug the wrong hole. They were about to lower the coffin when I leaned over to dad and said, "That's a foot stone, not a head stone. They dug the wrong hole." Dad told Harriett's son that she wouldn't be next to her husband. He said he "didn't care, as long as they are in the same cemetery." Dad talked to the guys who dug the hole, they were actually waiting on the road near by to cover it up- I've never noticed that before. They swore the foot stone was a head stone and started digging as if it were a head stone looking for Johnny. They dug more than seven feet down and didn't hit anything. Then they dug as if the foot stone was a foot stone and found Johnny's vault. After that, they dug the right hole for Harriett. I think I should go paint a big red x as to where dad is supposed to be when the time comes. I didn't go to the lunch-on after because I didn't want to deal with the step-monster. But I heard they served drinks, just like Harriett would have wanted.
Thoughts that I think: If I liked eating a little bit less and exercising a little bit more, I'd like my clothes and going in public more.

1 comment:

Debbie said...

Harriet was never that good with directions! She'll find Johnny though. :)