Saturday, May 22, 2010

This, That and the Other Thing...

I have decided Ethan has an aversion to wearing matching clothes. Every day he comes up from his room wearing bright green running pants with a red shirt. I tell him to change his pants. He comes up with the red shirt and burgundy running pants. Yesterday He was wearing a light blue shirt with dark blue writing. He couldn't find any shorts- keep in mind there were plenty of tan, and black in his drawer. I looked in the dryer and found a red pair, and the dark blue pair the shirt came with. Guess which one he wanted? I told him "no- wear the blue". He begged and begged to wear the red. Today he had a soccer game. He put on a red long sleeve t-shirt under his orange and black jersey coupled with the damn green running pants! Are you kidding me? I keep thinking "this is just a phase..." What if it isn't? What if he grows up and never, ever matches? He'll never find a wife. He'll have to live with me forever... HEY- Maybe I should let everyday be a dress-like-a- clown-day... Speaking of girls, there is a "get around girl" that has "gone out with"- even though they don't "GO" anywhere- all of Noah's friends and now she has her nasty eye on my baby. She calls him and texts him ALL of the time- as in 5 times an evening. I am torn between a) telling him he is way to young to talk to and text girls. b) Teasing him relentlessly so he tells her to stop. Or c) Me texting her back saying, "My mom says, 9-year-old girls who go with this boy then that boy and call and text them non-stop are trash. Don't be trash." I really am not sure what to do!
The other day I was sitting at a FEA (Fargo Education Association) meeting where they were telling us unless we retire in the next five years, all of the money we put into our teacher retirement fund will be gone. That's thousands of MY dollars- GONE! The guy who is the head honcho of the teacher retirement funds committed suicide, so you gotta believe it's true. Anyway, They kept saying "stock market". I kept giggling because I remember being a senior in High School and Mr. Berg was trying to explain the "Stalk" Market to us. I heard "stock market" and immediately thought 'well that's a warehouse on the wrong side of the tracks in New Jersey where you go to find someone to track and follow someone elses every move'. I even went as far to make mental lists of who I would have stalked, and I wondered how much it would cost. Mr. Berg was going, "blaa blaa stalk market, blaaa, blaaaa, stalk market,,," and I was thinking, 'I wonder if I pay extra if they'd break their knees when they were done stalking them?' Now I am older and wiser and I know what STOCK market is. Even so, when they were talking about the stock market at this meeting, I kept giggling because I remembered what I thought it was. Then instead of making a list of who I'd have stalked, I made the mental blog entry in my head. It was like, "We will run out of money unless we blaa blaa stock market (giggle giggle) bla, bla, blaa, blaaa, stocks and bonds" at that point I thought, "I bet stalks and bonds are when the stalker kidnaps the stalkee and ties them up (the bond part)... right before they break their knee caps." Giggle giggle.

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