Abby's Morning Run and PMS

Ethan has a friend who comes over and rings the doorbell constantly until someone answers. It's ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong... This morning at 7:30 the doorbell started ringing. We were all still in bed. I laid there and thought, "I'm going to punch that kid..." Thinking it was "Fred" I opened the door with my teacher look on my face. It wasn't Fred, it was an older guy with his wife walking their dog. He told us "Your little brown dog just ran away." I'm not sure, but I think I said something like "S**t! Damn it! She's not wearing her collar! Sh-iiiit!!" Charming. I know.We all ran and got dressed. The older couple was talking to another older couple with their dog. They pointed us in the direction of where Abby went. Scott went on foot, Ethan went one way around the block while Noah went the other on their bikes, and I started driving around. Noah found her. Apparently he bent down and yelled for her. She acted like she was running to him, but ran right by. He chased after her and caught her as I drove around the corner. She was caked with mud from head to tail. I'm not sure how the people knew she was brown, because she looked black to me. I gave her a bath and she told me if we didn't start taking her for more walks she'd start taking herself. Apparently Scott let her out at about two in the morning and forgot to let her back in. She had five hours to dig for freedom. Thank goodness those people were outside and saw her escape. We wouldn't have known until she was long gone.
PMS- I'm pretty sure I've never had PMS. Sure I get waterlogged and my boobs hurt, but it never effected my mood before. I'm really noticing 1)Now that I'm not trying to get pregnant, my body is like clockwork- unlike when I was trying to get pregnant. 2)In the last three months I get VERRY crabby, irritable, and just plain bitchy at the end of the month. I've been known to say things like,"Every Damn-day doesn't have to be a party!" and "I don't know how more people aren't smothered to death by their spouses because they won't stop snoring." I can barely stand myself. After my period, I am much more tolerable, even happy in fact. I don't understand how this symtom can crop up all of a sudden. That led me to looking it up on the Internet- where you should get all of your free medical advice. It turns out that I am either A) Simply a crab, or more likely B) suffering from PMS-As in Pre Menopause Syndrome. WHAT?? I'm 28. How can I be close to Pre-Menopause? It turns out Pre-Menopause can last for 15 years, so I guess that means 180 more end-of-the month crabbiness. Huh. Who knew??