Our Trip to Yellowstone Begins!!

I can always tell my subconscious is getting ready for the school year at this time of the summer (even though I avoid the “back to school aisles” like the plague because I start having “school dreams”. I’ve had three in the past week. In one a gun accidently went off in my classroom, and I spent the rest of the time trying to figure out how to keep my job. The next one was about me having to teach Kindergarten again as a punishment (for what I don’t know), I had 46 students and I couldn’t pronounce many of their names. The third one I had to choose one teacher from each grade level to have to teach the rest of the year outside. With no walls, ceiling or floor. In North Dakota. That assignment was also a punishment. Usually my back to school dreams consist of something exciting like having a favorite student back, or opening up a cupboard to find shiny new supplies or curriculum aides. This year however, it’s all about me being punished, but I don’t know what for. I wish I knew what these dreams all meant. If I only knew a dream interpreter. I wonder if that’s a real job. If it is I SO want to be a dream analyzer when I grow up!! That and I’ll be a pet psychic on the side.
We are on our way to Yellowstone in Wyoming. We drove by Fairfield, ND and got our pictures taken. We also went to a dinosaur museum that had actual dinosaurs dug up from only 5 miles away in Montana! Now I know why they all say Montana is much more exciting than North Dakota, it’s the increased chance of finding a dinosaur. We’ve driven through many towns. A lot of towns in Montana like to put a letter on the mountain in the town. For example, Forsyth has an F, and if you look close it looks like an F-. Custer has a C. I really think God put the letters on the mountains giving that town a letter grade. Ethan says the C for Custer stands for cruddy.
Do you ever count to three and then start something, as in a do-over or starting NOW kind of thing? I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I’ll catch myself chewing on my thumbnail, whip my hand down and say in my head, “1- 2- 3- go!” Then BOOM, I am no longer a nail biter. Well, until I catch myself doing it again, then I’ll count all over. I’ve done it with my plan to only eat vegetables, fruits and grains but then I forget and eat a hamburger. All I have to do is say “1- 2- 3- go!” I’m a vegetarian again! I also do it with not drinking beer. I started that one on Thursday afternoon and I haven’t fallen off that wagon yet. Partly because I have a raging urinary tract infection and no hope of seeing a doctor until Monday, and that’s a big maybe, so I’m drinking nothing because it’ll make me want to pee more than I already do. See one out of three of my 1- 2- 3 plans are working. Not bad huh?

I Think I Might Be Going Bald

I hate my hair. It's flat, a weird non-color, limp, fine, thin and wants to all be in front of my face all of the time. I blow dry it AWAY from my face and it still all falls forward toward my face. I feel like that girl from the ring with her hair covering her face. I went to get it cut, told my lady "I hate my hair. Do anything different". I really don't think she even cut it. I think she just played with it. I looked the exact same and she charges me 28.00. I think the crown of my head is losing hair, making me look like a pin head with fluffy sides. I love my dog Abby and I think she is beautiful, but I don't want to look like her.

Hangin' With The Old Folks

Last night I was my brother's "date" for his class reunion. I had all week to prepare and the question I kept asking myself was "what's weirder that being your brother's date for a grown-up milestone?" The only thing I came up with was going to prom with your cousin, and thankfully I did not do that, although it's not because I wasn't asked, but that's a whole other blog... Anyway all week I told people I was going to hang with the old folks in Barnesville on Friday, feeling a bit guilty because I knew I'd probably chicken out. Well, my brother, Paul, came home on Thursday. We went to the town drinking establishment and after tossing back a few, he asked the dreaded question again, "You're coming to the reunion tomorrow night right?" I knew Scott and Noah would be out of town for a baseball tournament, and Ethan would have to spend the night somewhere which I hadn't arranged yet and it's the day before the reunion, but I DID have those few drinks so I said and enthusiastic, "YOU BET I WILL!!! There'll be more beer there, right?" Flash forward twenty hours and I'm dropping Ethan off at Grandma Carol's to spend the night, and wondering what to wear as my brother's date. It really wouldn't matter what I chose to wear, I could have wore a tie-dyed tent Mumu, or a Hawaiian strapless sundress with elastic wrapped around the top, but then I would have been wearing a matching outfit with some of the party goers and that would be embarrassing. Probably not just the "oh I'm wearing the same thing" embarrassing. But the "I'm stuck in hippie land or I must dress like a little girl from 1983." I figured out what to wear and asked my brother how I looked. He said a fake "fan-tastic" which I KNEW he didn't mean, figured I won't know anyone so who do I have to impress? As we drove to Barnesville I got that same feeling like I needed to throw up or jump out of the moving car that I got LAST summer driving in his car to go to dad's big party in Barnesville. Huh... I wonder why that is? Is it driving in Paul's car? Is it his driving? Is it going to Barnesville? Is it going to a social function where I know I'll have no one to talk to? Who knows? Anyway, I was pretty sure the Legion, which is one of Barnesville's 5 bars, was on Main Street- the only "busy" street with businesses. Well, it turns out Main Street was closed, which is kinda dumb since the fair was in town, but whatever... Anyway, we had to detour down a side street and there it was! Go figure!! I didn't know where one of the bars in Barnesville (population 2,000) was. No one would have made THAT prediction. We had to circle the block to find a spot since the parking lot was packed, this made me want to throw up worse and think, 'he's slowing down, I could jump out now...' He finally found a spot, and I pretended I forgot how to open the car door just to buy time- which is kind-of funny since we drive identical (make and model) cars. We walked in and a HUGE sign was hung up saying WELCOME HOME TROOPS!! Which made me chuckle since the troops came home a year ago last May. There was no reunion sign, so I thought maybe we're at the wrong bar. I looked around, saw all of the pushing 50 crowd and thought 'nope. We're here.' Right away I saw my cousin and his wife, Larry and Shelly, and I practically pushed people over to get to them so I'd have someone to talk to and not look like a dork. Shelly was in a group next to three other women and one gave me a snotty look, whispered something to Shelly and Shelly said, "Oh it's Sara, Paul's sister." The snotty woman walked away. That's very typical small town Barnesville and why I get sick to my stomach going there. I talked to Shelly until her other friend left, and then I thought maybe I'm being a pest, so I wandered around to find Paul. The Legion is like any small town bar and not very big so it shouldn't have been a problem. I thought I gotta find the guy standing with a beer. That narrowed it down to 50% of the people there- the other 50% were women. I finally found him, and joined his circle. All of the guys in the circle are staring at me and I know they are thinking, "Paul's wife has a lot of similar facial features..." Their conversation goes on for what seemed like an hour until someone asked what my name was. I said, "I'm Paul's little sister"
Man-"Do you have a name?"
"Yep, Sara."
2nd man- "I don't remember you..."
"I'm 10 years younger. I was in second grade when you graduated."
All the people in the circle- "You are just a baby!!"
So all night I was known as the "young one", was often called a "baby", and told I was so young still. That was great! In the last three weeks two people slipped and called me "old-oops. Sorry MATURE", and "middle aged". The reunion world was so weird. Everyone was walking around saying, "Who are you?" "Who are you?" All I kept thinking was, when I'm old in 10 years will I lose my memory too? Will I have to ask everyone who they are? And in 10 MORE years will Paul's class be walking around asking each other "Who am I?" Who am I?"- Because a few people did that- especially the lady in the tie-dyed tent and her husband wearing the matching t-shirt. I think maybe the tie-dye ruined their memory and that was why they didn't know who they were. A little later another cousin stopped in and we had a beer and he confirmed that yes, my dad does still love me but his wretched wife won't let him show it. By 9:00, I wore out my welcome with the three people I knew and was ready to GO. Paul ordered another $4.00 beer (yet ANOTHER reason the first time at the Legion will be my last time as well), and went to talk to the tie-dyed people as I muttered something about, "you made me come here, now you entertain me..." Paul asked me in front of tie-dyed man if I knew him. Well, no Paul, this guy keeps asking people "who am I?" I don't think he even knows who he is... Mr. Tie-dye told me I looked like an angel so I must be one, and I told him he is correct!! Anyway, it turns out he not only rode my bus, but let me sit in the back with the "cool kids"!! He told me I'd walk to the back of the bus in kindergarten withmy pigtails like I owned the place, and he had to let me sit back there or my cousins would beat him up since the only kids on the bus were my cousins and his family. I found out Mrs. Tie-dyed was Mr. Ness'-one of my favorite teachers- daughter and her brother was the guy walking around with the blue button shirt unbuttoned. Not to be mixed-up with the "hottest guy in the grade" who walked around with his white button shirt unbuttoned. When I realized these were Mr. Ness’ kids I was a little sad for him. I bet it sucks to have your kids not really turn out so good. I also wondered what is it about Barnesville and guys taking their shirts off at the bar? I swear it's 50-50 when I go to a Barnesville bar some guy will end up walking around with his shirt off hanging it around his neck, or unbuttoned. Later I was hit-on by a drunk who kept yelling "sweetie" and "baby" at me with his tongue hanging out like it was sexy or something. I can't decide which was more of a turn-on, when he fell off his bar stool or the tongue thing. I found out that guy was my favorite teacher's kid! What's with that? Teacher's kids are suppose to grow up to be engineers, doctors, lawyers, President, kings and queens; not falling off their bar stool, losing their shirts, or wearing tie-dye in public. I also found out I wasn't the only sister that came as their brother's date. A lady who is four years ahead of me came with her brother. She said it's the only time she could spend time with him (even though they both still live in Barnesville), so we had something in common- and I found out being your brother's date isn't creepy at all. Toward the end of the night I talked to Paul's good friends from high school and that was nice. I also found the excitement of the class reunion contagious, therefore I'm seriously reconsidering my decision to skip mine in August. If I do go, I should SO make my brother be my date. Oh! I also realized 50 isn't THAT old. Hey if 30 is the new 20, 50 must be the new 40...
Stay tuned for my next post; "I think I'm going bald"

My Little Buddy

Ethan has become my little shadow this summer. With Noah and Scott always being gone, Ethan and I are left to fend for ourselves. Noah's always at friends' houses, and well Ethan's friends are at daycare. One day I asked him if it bothered him he can't go to his friends' and he assured me, "No mom. I like hanging out with you at home better anyway." That's what we've been doing. Most days start out with us cuddling on the couch watching Phineas and Ferb, having "contests" on my i-pod, eating lunch, then the kids going to basketball camp, Noah going to a friends' house and Ethan and I going in the pool or laying around. Then it's Ethan and I eating supper, going to Noah's games and ending the day with both of us reading in my bed- sometimes he even falls asleep before I do. I cherish every minute. You never know if he'll be too "cool" for mom next summer. This summer he prefers to be with me as I am "his best friend". Since I am spending so much time with him and have a lack of a social life, I'd have to agree with him. So... On to that topic. Ethan's super great, but sometimes you just miss other adults. What is with my non-social life? I've been feeling a little sorry for myself lately, "everyone else has fun plans for the weekend/afternoon/summer...." Why don't I? I think I'm wonderfully fun to be around, yet no one agrees with me- except Ethan... and the dogs. However, I'm thinking of telling the dogs their suspicions are right- they ARE adopted, and then they might not want to hang out with me either. I also feel like the ONLY person in the Fargo-Moorhead area who does not have a lake, or friends' lake place to go to for the fourth of July.

I guess on the fourth, Ethan and I will be floating around in the pool telling each other what we like best about the other one- the same way we celebrated flag day.

Cholesterol Check

Today I went to the Doctor to get my cholesterol checked. I knew I had to get it checked since June 6. At first I planned to go one week without beer, cheese, or red meat. I had only 30 days to get the test done, so I changed my "rule" to 5 days without beer or cheese. Then it was three days without beer. The end of the month is coming fast, so I decided, I can't be hung over or have had cheese the night before. So today was the day! Although I did have cheesy potatoes last night for supper. I don't know why I have to get it checked. I had it checked two years ago when we decided to buy life insurance. My cholesterol, height, weight, antibodies, hair length, favorite color, and shoe size were all within the "normal" range. The insurance company wanted $250 a month to insure me, even though I am relatively young, a non-smoker and "normal". And $150 a month for Scott who was in the "high weight and cholesterol" bracket. He was "accepted". However when they got my medical records I was denied because I, and many of the female relatives that came before me use(d) bitch-be-gone pills. Apparently that makes me "high-risk". Really? Because I'd say not being on them makes Scott a"high-risk". Needless to say, we decided to put that money in an account rather than insurance. I was told "if you go off the medication, we'd be happy to insure you..." Every few months the salesman calls me to ask if I'm still on my beloved bitch-be-gone pills. The last time he called I said, "Did I answer the phone pleasantly?" He said, "Yes." Then I said, "If I was off them I'd answer the phone like this; What do you want you money grubbing a$$hole? Oh I know! You want $400 a month to insure us. Well, if I ever sober up, or if Scott doesn't quit his damn snoring we will definatly need and use that insurance, so sign me up my friend!" He hasn't called since January.

My Missing Child

I'm pretty sure I have an eleven-year-old. I remember having him the past eleven years, however, I barely see him. I see remnants that tell me he has been here, such as the trail of dirty socks and wrappers from the kitchen to his room. Seriously. What's will the socks. As soon as Noah makes a rare appearance, the socks come off and drop where he stands. I rarely see him. He and his father seem to believe he absolutely must be at a practice, a game, an organized scrimmage, staying at some kids house or having kids stay here 24-7. What ever happened to "I'm bored" during summer? Why does an 11-year-old need to have a social calendar that leaves literally 1 DAY free the whole summer? It has been a very hot button topic at my house lately. From the time everyone wakes up until they go to bed it is sports. sports, sports. All three eat (we had to sell 20 tickets for a Texas Road House Lunch), breathe (at baseball) and live sports. No one talks about anything else. The only thing on TV at my house is ESPN or some sports game. It doesn't matter if I'm watching Little House on the Prairie, the channel gets changed as soon as someone else walks in the room. I feel like I don't fit in, or belong in this family. I belong in a family that hates sports (except basketball and the Superbowl commercials and snacks). I like basketball, but not enough to watch it on TV or DVR it. I like it enough to watch it live if I know someone playing. Other than that, nothin'. I'm beyond sick of it. So I wonder, how is it that I am all alone in a house with two boys and three dogs- and the one missing kid?

Noah's 5th Grade Graduation

Noah and the principal Mr. Kopperud.

Noah and his friends. Most are kids he's been friends with since Kindergarten, pre-school, or first grade.

Today was Noah's 5th Grade Graduation. As I was waiting for it to start, I suddenly remembered the last day of Kindergarten and him racing out to the car waving his report card yelling, "It says Grade One!! I passed! I passed!!" I remembered the day before Scott and I went to Hawaii and I was suppose to eat lunch with Noah, but I got the time mixed up and got there late. Mrs. Anderson showed us a room we could use to eat our McDonald's and Noah's second lunch for the day. I remembered in second grade when Max was a baby and he brought Max and his four-year-old brother for show and tell. I remembered in fourth grade when he realized he is really smart.

The first awards they gave out was for art and I was sure Noah wouldn't get one. He hates art, isn't good at it, and actually it's really hard to read his handwriting. Noah's name was the first one called. The principal gave his speech next. He mentioned how he looked at the yearbook when these kids were in kindergarten and how one kid had a great flat-top, one girl had a wonderful smile, and how he and Noah would have snack in his office every Monday to talk about the Vikings game and Noah usually knew more about it than he did. He told us later that whenever he watches the Vikings, he thinks of Noah. Little does he know, during that year and in first grade Noah had a one hour limit of "football talk" at home.

I thought of the day I took Noah to his pre-school screening when he turned five to make sure he was ready for school. The teacher asked if I had concerns and I told her I was worried he wouldn't make friends. Noah was always very picky about his friends, and there were not a lot of kids his age in the neighborhood. He'd likely know no one when school started. She told me he's cute, friendly and smart and he'll have plenty of friends. When the principal announced Noah's name to come up to get his graduation certificate and metal, the whole grade whooped and hollered. I got tears in my eyes. They like him, they really do.

When it was all done a lady who works with a special needs student in Noah's class sought me out and told me Noah is kind, caring, respectful and smart. He is everything you'd want in a kid. She said I did a good job raising him. I thanked her, and thought to say, 'he was born that way, it has very little to do with me,' but I said nothing and thought to myself, "I should have had more kids. That's one thing I do well."

Now he's playing basketball in the driveway with his BFF, the same kid he met on the first day of Kindergarten and I told Noah to sit by him because he looked like he'd be nice. He's also hoping baseball is canceled so he can play longer. I'm watching him wondering where that little boy went. How did he grow up so fast?