October is...

I got the following e-mail today...
And the following are my thoughts.

October 2011 is...

Adopt-a-Shelter-Dog Month - I already have 3. The city will shut me down if I bring in more.
Celebrating the Bilingual Child Month I do every day Monday- Friday in my classroom
Celiac Disease Awareness Month I am aware that I am glad I don't have that!
Dyslexia Awareness Month M3 gl4b I bon't hav3 th4t 3ither.
Eat Better, Eat Together Month Which is it? Eat better, or eat together? When I eat with other people I eat real food with calories.
Emotional Wellness Month Shouldn't every month be emotional wellness?
Global Diversity Awareness Month I believe every month already is Global Diversity month
Halloween Safety Month This would be better suited in the month of June...
Health Literacy Month What? Is it health or reading? How are they related?
National Animal Safety and Protection Month Also, "take your dog hunting with your big ol' firearm" month
National Book Month Where is this national book? I'd like to read it.
National Crime Prevention Month Well Duh- it's Halloween. Nothing good has ever come from Halloween!!
National Cyber Security Awareness Month Wouldn't that be covered under the Crime Prevention?
National Go On A Field Trip Month We went on two last week!!
National Reading Group MonthI do those daily. When will it be "kids read more than Mrs. Fairfield reads FOR me month"?
National Stamp Collecting Month Why are we collecting stamps? Is there going to be a shortage?
Raptor Month I hate raptors. And snakes. And clowns and mascots.
Vegetarian Month I can still eat cheese right?
International Day of Older Persons My students think I am an "older person"
Great Books Week Every week SHOULD be great books week
Mental Illness Awareness Week For me every week IS Mental Illness Awareness week
Mystery Series Week What's the Mystery?
National Carry a Tune Week I try to sing to my students to get them to stop talking. They just talk over me.
No Salt Week That's just crazy talk!
Child Health Day Must be because kids are always sick in October.
Ten Four Day I bet that day is on 10/4. Hee hee. Tomorrow I am going to answer everyone with 10-4. "What's for lunch?" "10-4"
UN World Teacher's Day What's an un-world? I think I know a few un-teachers.
World Smile Day I specifically remember smiling three days ago day.
Kids' Goal Setting Week Goal- learn more and work harder at my learning than my teacher works at my learning.
National Chestnut Week Really?? They get a week?
National Metric Week I loathe the Metric system. Actually I loath teaching it and believe it is a waste of time to teach third graders. Especially when they go to lunch at "10:75"
National School Lunch Week At 10:75
Columbus Day Observed If a guy who got totally lost, never admited it and died believing he was right got a special day named after him- then I should have at least 5 days named after me.
National Face Your Fears Day I do daily- it's called "getting up in the morning"
National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day But can I bring 2? Can I bring one bigger than my desk? Can I bring one that hides my flask? The first two questions would come from my class, the last one would be from me.
Food and Drug Interaction and Awareness Week THANK GOD food doesn't effect my drugs...
Freedom From Bullies Week Ha ha! Like the bullies would take a week off.
Getting the World to Beat a Path to Your Door Week I want people to stay away from my door. Especially those naughty little boys who just moved into the neighborhood.
Kids Care Week Kids care for one week. The other 51, they don't give a rip.
National Character Counts Week Ditto from above
National School Bus Safety Week I don't think the drivers got that memo, as I watched a school bus driver in Moorhead throw his cigarette out the window this morning on my way to work.
Evaluate Your Life Day I will do that on Saturday. Or Monday.
Cranky Coworkers Day My co-workers probably think this is every day with me.

Where Did My Memory Go?

I feel like I'm losing my memory. I see people I know I know, but can't recall their name or how I know them. I think of people I graduated with and can't think of their last names, so then I play the ABC game. I know it starts with a D and has two syllables... Fredrickson! That's it!!! I called my best friend from High School the other day to ask the last name of a girl we were really good friends with- turns out the girl shared my maiden name. "Oh yeah..." was all I thought. I feel like some day I'm going to go to the mall, some lady I don't recognize will come up to me with arms outstretched for a hug, I won't recognize her and then suddenly realize it's my sister and the reason I went to the mall was to meet her there. I tack it all up to stress, but I'm not stressed. I can remember every word to every Michael Jackson, Bon Jovi, and Poison song from High School, but what the hell is my phone number?? I can remember my best friend's address growing up, but can't remember my dad's address he's had for the last 20 years. I wonder if my mind is so full of crap I don't need (thanks a lot Mr. Holm my High School Social Studies teacher) that I don't have room for new stuff. But names of people I should know isn't actually new stuff. I am having a class reunion this summer, so for fun I was looking at my senior album. I don't remember half of the people who wrote something in it. I read the names of seniors and I'd swear they weren't in my class- which is sad, because we only had 58 people in our graduating class. Yet, I can remember detailed conversations I had with my 8th grade "boyfriend" on the phone. I remember my 5th birthday, but can't tell you a thing about my last birthday other than my students didn't remember even though we had a count down for weeks while it was coming up. I remember the box-elder bugs on the wall next to me while I took my SATs, but have no clue how I did on them. Apparently it was well enough to get into college. I still remember my college ID number- 911697, but have to look up the word "college" every time I write it. I can't remember titles of movies- or the actor's names that are in them. I describe them as, "You know that movie. The one. With the guy. That one guy? His name is a four letter name... And that girl. The girl with the hair... You know right??" Maybe it's early old age? Maybe early onset of Alzheimer's? I remember my first kiss, and the conversation leading up to it. Yet I can't remember the conversation I had with my Gynecologist last week. Maybe beer is killing my memory. I remember the "cookie" play we put on in first grade- and my lines- "MMMM Chocolate Chip!" yet I forget daily that the on-ramp to the interstate by my house is closed, and has been for the past 6 months. Maybe it's lack of sleep, or vitamins. I should take some vitamins. If I could only remember where I put them...

Yellowstone Continued

Mule Deer

Black Bears!
Mommy and Baby Moose

We drove around and saw a bear about 100 yards away, a deer in the ditch, a cow moose with her baby (see photo) about 20 yards away, (right by our resort) two mule deer(photo), elk, and a buffalo walking along the road right by our car!! But the most exciting thing of them all... BEARS up close and personal!! See Photo!! That was so super exciting. Yesterday we went whitewater rafting. You can see the photos at snakeriverphotos.com then go to Mad River, then 2011, then July, then 26, then 4:30. All of those are our group. Ethan is front row center. It was fun. I was worried One of the kids or I was going to fall in the river, but we didn't. The guide said the chances of falling in or tipping is 50/50 and I panicked and wanted to back out. No one fell from our raft, but they did from the raft in front of us. It's been a lot of fun so far. I don't think I'm a "wild west outdoorsy" gal, but it's nice to vacation and visit. People here don't drive after dark and think you are nuts- two ladies told us so, if you do because there are so many moose, buffalo, elk, etc... on the road. Crazy!!

3 Things I Know

I am quite sure of three things...

1) I can not live anywhere other than Fargo/Moorhead. Every time I go on vacation I realize people are generally rude. They cut in line, won't wait their turn, act entitled and generally do not follow the rules. It drives me crazy when people don't follow the rules. That's the teacher in me. It used to be really hard to refrain from correcting other people's children in public, now it's hard not to correct adults' behavior in public.

2) I am not an experienced hiker enough to hike a 2 1/2 mile "difficult" trail up a mountain. All the other people had a stick and I thought it was to fight off ninja snakes, turns out nope. It was to help you walk. I know I was suppose to look at the scenery and wildlife. All I looked at was my foot and the next non-loose rock I could step on (oh and I looked for snakes).

3) McDonald's must sprinkle cocaine on their fries, because I am addicted to them.

Our Trip to Yellowstone Begins!!

I can always tell my subconscious is getting ready for the school year at this time of the summer (even though I avoid the “back to school aisles” like the plague because I start having “school dreams”. I’ve had three in the past week. In one a gun accidently went off in my classroom, and I spent the rest of the time trying to figure out how to keep my job. The next one was about me having to teach Kindergarten again as a punishment (for what I don’t know), I had 46 students and I couldn’t pronounce many of their names. The third one I had to choose one teacher from each grade level to have to teach the rest of the year outside. With no walls, ceiling or floor. In North Dakota. That assignment was also a punishment. Usually my back to school dreams consist of something exciting like having a favorite student back, or opening up a cupboard to find shiny new supplies or curriculum aides. This year however, it’s all about me being punished, but I don’t know what for. I wish I knew what these dreams all meant. If I only knew a dream interpreter. I wonder if that’s a real job. If it is I SO want to be a dream analyzer when I grow up!! That and I’ll be a pet psychic on the side.
We are on our way to Yellowstone in Wyoming. We drove by Fairfield, ND and got our pictures taken. We also went to a dinosaur museum that had actual dinosaurs dug up from only 5 miles away in Montana! Now I know why they all say Montana is much more exciting than North Dakota, it’s the increased chance of finding a dinosaur. We’ve driven through many towns. A lot of towns in Montana like to put a letter on the mountain in the town. For example, Forsyth has an F, and if you look close it looks like an F-. Custer has a C. I really think God put the letters on the mountains giving that town a letter grade. Ethan says the C for Custer stands for cruddy.
Do you ever count to three and then start something, as in a do-over or starting NOW kind of thing? I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I’ll catch myself chewing on my thumbnail, whip my hand down and say in my head, “1- 2- 3- go!” Then BOOM, I am no longer a nail biter. Well, until I catch myself doing it again, then I’ll count all over. I’ve done it with my plan to only eat vegetables, fruits and grains but then I forget and eat a hamburger. All I have to do is say “1- 2- 3- go!” I’m a vegetarian again! I also do it with not drinking beer. I started that one on Thursday afternoon and I haven’t fallen off that wagon yet. Partly because I have a raging urinary tract infection and no hope of seeing a doctor until Monday, and that’s a big maybe, so I’m drinking nothing because it’ll make me want to pee more than I already do. See one out of three of my 1- 2- 3 plans are working. Not bad huh?

I Think I Might Be Going Bald

I hate my hair. It's flat, a weird non-color, limp, fine, thin and wants to all be in front of my face all of the time. I blow dry it AWAY from my face and it still all falls forward toward my face. I feel like that girl from the ring with her hair covering her face. I went to get it cut, told my lady "I hate my hair. Do anything different". I really don't think she even cut it. I think she just played with it. I looked the exact same and she charges me 28.00. I think the crown of my head is losing hair, making me look like a pin head with fluffy sides. I love my dog Abby and I think she is beautiful, but I don't want to look like her.

Hangin' With The Old Folks

Last night I was my brother's "date" for his class reunion. I had all week to prepare and the question I kept asking myself was "what's weirder that being your brother's date for a grown-up milestone?" The only thing I came up with was going to prom with your cousin, and thankfully I did not do that, although it's not because I wasn't asked, but that's a whole other blog... Anyway all week I told people I was going to hang with the old folks in Barnesville on Friday, feeling a bit guilty because I knew I'd probably chicken out. Well, my brother, Paul, came home on Thursday. We went to the town drinking establishment and after tossing back a few, he asked the dreaded question again, "You're coming to the reunion tomorrow night right?" I knew Scott and Noah would be out of town for a baseball tournament, and Ethan would have to spend the night somewhere which I hadn't arranged yet and it's the day before the reunion, but I DID have those few drinks so I said and enthusiastic, "YOU BET I WILL!!! There'll be more beer there, right?" Flash forward twenty hours and I'm dropping Ethan off at Grandma Carol's to spend the night, and wondering what to wear as my brother's date. It really wouldn't matter what I chose to wear, I could have wore a tie-dyed tent Mumu, or a Hawaiian strapless sundress with elastic wrapped around the top, but then I would have been wearing a matching outfit with some of the party goers and that would be embarrassing. Probably not just the "oh I'm wearing the same thing" embarrassing. But the "I'm stuck in hippie land or I must dress like a little girl from 1983." I figured out what to wear and asked my brother how I looked. He said a fake "fan-tastic" which I KNEW he didn't mean, figured I won't know anyone so who do I have to impress? As we drove to Barnesville I got that same feeling like I needed to throw up or jump out of the moving car that I got LAST summer driving in his car to go to dad's big party in Barnesville. Huh... I wonder why that is? Is it driving in Paul's car? Is it his driving? Is it going to Barnesville? Is it going to a social function where I know I'll have no one to talk to? Who knows? Anyway, I was pretty sure the Legion, which is one of Barnesville's 5 bars, was on Main Street- the only "busy" street with businesses. Well, it turns out Main Street was closed, which is kinda dumb since the fair was in town, but whatever... Anyway, we had to detour down a side street and there it was! Go figure!! I didn't know where one of the bars in Barnesville (population 2,000) was. No one would have made THAT prediction. We had to circle the block to find a spot since the parking lot was packed, this made me want to throw up worse and think, 'he's slowing down, I could jump out now...' He finally found a spot, and I pretended I forgot how to open the car door just to buy time- which is kind-of funny since we drive identical (make and model) cars. We walked in and a HUGE sign was hung up saying WELCOME HOME TROOPS!! Which made me chuckle since the troops came home a year ago last May. There was no reunion sign, so I thought maybe we're at the wrong bar. I looked around, saw all of the pushing 50 crowd and thought 'nope. We're here.' Right away I saw my cousin and his wife, Larry and Shelly, and I practically pushed people over to get to them so I'd have someone to talk to and not look like a dork. Shelly was in a group next to three other women and one gave me a snotty look, whispered something to Shelly and Shelly said, "Oh it's Sara, Paul's sister." The snotty woman walked away. That's very typical small town Barnesville and why I get sick to my stomach going there. I talked to Shelly until her other friend left, and then I thought maybe I'm being a pest, so I wandered around to find Paul. The Legion is like any small town bar and not very big so it shouldn't have been a problem. I thought I gotta find the guy standing with a beer. That narrowed it down to 50% of the people there- the other 50% were women. I finally found him, and joined his circle. All of the guys in the circle are staring at me and I know they are thinking, "Paul's wife has a lot of similar facial features..." Their conversation goes on for what seemed like an hour until someone asked what my name was. I said, "I'm Paul's little sister"
Man-"Do you have a name?"
"Yep, Sara."
2nd man- "I don't remember you..."
"I'm 10 years younger. I was in second grade when you graduated."
All the people in the circle- "You are just a baby!!"
So all night I was known as the "young one", was often called a "baby", and told I was so young still. That was great! In the last three weeks two people slipped and called me "old-oops. Sorry MATURE", and "middle aged". The reunion world was so weird. Everyone was walking around saying, "Who are you?" "Who are you?" All I kept thinking was, when I'm old in 10 years will I lose my memory too? Will I have to ask everyone who they are? And in 10 MORE years will Paul's class be walking around asking each other "Who am I?" Who am I?"- Because a few people did that- especially the lady in the tie-dyed tent and her husband wearing the matching t-shirt. I think maybe the tie-dye ruined their memory and that was why they didn't know who they were. A little later another cousin stopped in and we had a beer and he confirmed that yes, my dad does still love me but his wretched wife won't let him show it. By 9:00, I wore out my welcome with the three people I knew and was ready to GO. Paul ordered another $4.00 beer (yet ANOTHER reason the first time at the Legion will be my last time as well), and went to talk to the tie-dyed people as I muttered something about, "you made me come here, now you entertain me..." Paul asked me in front of tie-dyed man if I knew him. Well, no Paul, this guy keeps asking people "who am I?" I don't think he even knows who he is... Mr. Tie-dye told me I looked like an angel so I must be one, and I told him he is correct!! Anyway, it turns out he not only rode my bus, but let me sit in the back with the "cool kids"!! He told me I'd walk to the back of the bus in kindergarten withmy pigtails like I owned the place, and he had to let me sit back there or my cousins would beat him up since the only kids on the bus were my cousins and his family. I found out Mrs. Tie-dyed was Mr. Ness'-one of my favorite teachers- daughter and her brother was the guy walking around with the blue button shirt unbuttoned. Not to be mixed-up with the "hottest guy in the grade" who walked around with his white button shirt unbuttoned. When I realized these were Mr. Ness’ kids I was a little sad for him. I bet it sucks to have your kids not really turn out so good. I also wondered what is it about Barnesville and guys taking their shirts off at the bar? I swear it's 50-50 when I go to a Barnesville bar some guy will end up walking around with his shirt off hanging it around his neck, or unbuttoned. Later I was hit-on by a drunk who kept yelling "sweetie" and "baby" at me with his tongue hanging out like it was sexy or something. I can't decide which was more of a turn-on, when he fell off his bar stool or the tongue thing. I found out that guy was my favorite teacher's kid! What's with that? Teacher's kids are suppose to grow up to be engineers, doctors, lawyers, President, kings and queens; not falling off their bar stool, losing their shirts, or wearing tie-dye in public. I also found out I wasn't the only sister that came as their brother's date. A lady who is four years ahead of me came with her brother. She said it's the only time she could spend time with him (even though they both still live in Barnesville), so we had something in common- and I found out being your brother's date isn't creepy at all. Toward the end of the night I talked to Paul's good friends from high school and that was nice. I also found the excitement of the class reunion contagious, therefore I'm seriously reconsidering my decision to skip mine in August. If I do go, I should SO make my brother be my date. Oh! I also realized 50 isn't THAT old. Hey if 30 is the new 20, 50 must be the new 40...
Stay tuned for my next post; "I think I'm going bald"